Swara Bhaskar: I don’t want to settle and mind someone whom I don’t love, just because I want a child – Times of India

Be it with her last outing ‘Sheer Qorma’, which was a film based on the same-sex love story, or through her banters on social media, Swara Bhaskar always strives to make a point that can bring about a change. Her decision of becoming a single mother through adoption also grabbed headlines. The actress recently was present at
Bharat youth dialogue organized by Village square youth hub as she is deeply passionate about social issues that matter to India. In an exclusive conversation with ETimes, she fearlessly spoke about paying the price for voicing her opinions on social media, her decision of being a single mother, starting up a family, and much more. Excerpts from the interview.

You recently said that you’ve paid the price for voicing your opinions and being vocal on social media. When you come across young minds who want to follow in your footsteps, what advice do you offer them to encourage them and keep their mind away from the concerns of being trolled/criticised?

I think I can only share my experiences. Like I can only speak about things that I care about. And if you believe in something, you are willing to stand up, pay the price and fight for it. And how much ever price you are willing to pay is some decision about an individual’s mindset. I would always say to the people that speak up your mind, one should not always be bothered about people and about what the cost of it will be. And that is a very basic level of how I operate in a particular matter. And on the other hand, I would say we live in such a polarised and fractious world, and today’s young people have so many platforms, so one should really endeavour to have the confidence to not allow this kind of bullying and not be silenced by anyone. I think we all must develop a little
himmat, develop a little spine and stand up against bullying. Because bullying needs to be silenced.

While there are youngsters who are speaking against various issues in our society, there are plenty of them who are unemployed and are the reason for bringing down society. Your comment.
I think youth who are unemployed are also part of our society and are also victims of various issues faced by our society. Misused or exploited are different issues but the fact is even the so-called misguided, oppressed, misused youth present the real issues that exist in our society. Instead of talking about that issue, as employment is a collective issue, we are wasting our time in using, misusing, weaponising them to create hatred amongst our own society. But the fact is like I say jokingly that I am giving employment to the trolls but the fact is that their job is to abuse me. But that must be the only job they must have found. They are also victims in one way, they are also suffering from a problem.

You’ve recently taken the decision to be a single mother and adopt a child. How has this decision changed your thought process and your perception? Do you find a few maternal instincts kicking now?
I was always clear about what I wanted and I always wanted a child. Now adoption is a time taking process. It is not like I want to be a mother and I will get a child overnight, It will take time. I am clear that I want a family and how I will get that family? Adoption was the way. I was very clear about the thought that I want a family and that was the reason why I got into the process of adoption. I have always liked children. The agencies take time because they want to be sure that they are not handling the child to a dangerous person. They don’t want to be in a situation, where because of their lack of attitude, they might end up giving the child to somebody who is a criminal or someone who will exploit the child. Hence the adoption process is slow and I don’t judge that reason.

While single parenting is a reality, one also can’t deny that two parents are ideal in completing a family. Have you thought about settling down, perhaps after you’ve adopted?
Two parents are ideal only if they both love each other and they are on the same page. There are so many children who grow up in broken families, so better be a single parent and raise a child in a healthy atmosphere. We have so many good examples of adoption by a single parent in our society. See Lord Krishna, he was raised by Maa Yashoda, who was not his biological mother and he was loved by her like no one else. Even Rani Lakshmibai’s fight against British Raj was done by her adopted son. We have very positive examples of adoption in our culture, in mythology, and even in real life. I don’t think anything is ideal but parents who love their children and support them and make the child feel safe, nourished, protected, well taken care of. Especially in India, we have a very strong support system of parents to their children. Here, in India, children grow up with their grandparents, their uncles, aunts, and so many other relations, with friends, etc. They grow up with many other adults, who are more responsible towards them and they are not their parents. So I am not scared on that part, that I need to be settled down if I want to have kids. I don’t want to settle and mind someone whom I don’t love just because I want a child. So that is not in my mind.

A lot of young social media users get carried away with their opinions and pick up influence from less credible sources. How do you engage with such people? What do you do to help educate them?
I point out that what they are quoting is a wrong fact.

Do you keep all these things in mind while signing films?
Of course, I do. Because the acting you bring to the table is a reflection of who we are. But when it is a director’s medium, there is very little control an actor has over a film. But in a polite way, I will say, I try to do the best that I can do for my role, with honesty. But beyond a point, there is a limit to how much authority I have, how much control I have.